This feeling of loneliness is a feeling of grief. There are times when I feel so down that I tend to give up on everything good for me. It is so hard to stay on focus with what I want in this point in time.
Time is running fast. Here I am again, experiencing the downside of my life. I try to convince myself that it gives me strength to face the world. A lot of times, I remain the silent griever, trying to hide it all in my chest. In the exterior, I may be a very tough individual. But who can ever understand me? Even my loved once, the ones I’ve been with for all of my life has always been puzzled with the way I thought. Who can ever fathom that behind this strong and determined personality is a glass that is in the verge of shattering into pieces?
A lot may understand me, but my deepest and innermost self will always be something that no one can ever know. I admit, I am tired of fighting for this life. It is so hard to stay on the ground and not fall down when everyday, the load I carry becomes heavier.
I am a writer. My sentiments and grief make me one. I have always put my feelings in it. Why does it have to be this way when I write? Is it weakness in my part that I can only write when I’m down? How many more grief should I experience to make me write? How many more problems should I have to encounter?
My heart broken or emotions shattered, I am a writer with those sentiments. I will forever write. I will forever be the grieving writer.
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